My husband’s mom passed away a year ago today. I wanted to put something up in her memory. She left us unexpectedly and she is missed terribly. I know especially for Dana and his sister, the feeling of loss doesn’t go away and as time has gone by it can feel better some days and then out of nowhere it’s not better at all. Just missing her, as if we went on a long trip and now it’s been the longest amount of time we’ve ever gone without seeing or talking to her, except we can’t just pick up the phone. Or, when we see the milestones in our children’s life and think about how excited she would have been to see them too. She got excited pretty easily, especially over her grandchildren. I know for me and I’m sure for Dana this week we are remembering the last conversations we had. She called the house while we were gathering up all the kids and on our way out the door. I answered. She wanted to ask me if I thought Logan and Mary would like to have a “real” wrist watch for their “last day of school gift (kindergarten graduation for Logan).” She had found some cute ones in a shop by her house. She loved presents. I said yes, and that I thought they would love that. Dana had a short talk with her before we had to go. I remember how I almost didn’t answer the phone because we really didn’t have time. I remember how happy she was that I thought they would like those watches. It was only a day or two later that Dana flew up to NY when she was admitted to the hospital. I remember his early morning call and my sense of fear as I picked it up, then the sound of his broken voice. I remember when we found the watches at her house after I flew up to be with Dana. I personally have lots of things I wish I had said to Margaret. But I am so glad I answered her call that day.
I’m copying below the part of her program I wrote for the services.
Margaret Ann Graves was born and raised in Manhattan. She loved the city. She moved upstate when she was 17 years old. In 1967 she gave birth to her first child, daughter Michelle. Her son Dana followed in 1971. Margaret was a devoted, hard working mother who would do anything, give anything and sacrifice anything for her children. In 1984 Margaret went to work for the US Post Office. She worked the same route for the past 14 years and was a dedicated and enthusiastic mail carrier to her customers… They were crazy about her. Margaret welcomed her first grandchild, AJ, in 1989. Next came Blane in 2001, Logan in 2003, Mary in 2005 and Davis in 2008. She loved her grandchildren fiercely and they will miss their Mom-Mom dearly. Margaret met Buddy Graves in 1998; they were married a year later on May 1, 1999. Together they enjoyed visiting family, vacationing and just hanging out at home. Margaret loved Buddy’s family. Margaret and Buddy brought home a baby labrador retriever in 2000. Stormy would become one of Margaret’s greatest joys. Margaret was a loyal Jets fan, an avid bowler and a faithful friend. She loved to have fun, loved to give gifts, loved to watch movies or read a good book. She loved life and was thankful for every day she had after surviving lung cancer 14 years ago. She was a fighter.
Margaret left her mark here and the world will not be the same without her. We will miss her terribly and wish so much to have had the chance for one last conversation, one more hug, a goodbye. But we have hope. There is hope in knowing she has moved on to joys beyond this world and that someday we can be together again… get that hug, that talk – but no more goodbyes.